Crowning Glory

I am a pleb.

The sentence that should be used by a person who has just ruined all things good in their Life.

You know that moment, when you say you love someone and mean it.  That finally happened to me, I really had met my 'crowning glory'!  She is perfection personified.  Yet, in the essence of my love, I tripped, and made the greatest mistake of my life.  I cheated on her.

Why?  I don't know.  I could blame it on the Alcohol I had drank, but that is cowardly, the actions I make, are the mistakes I live with for the rest of my life.  I have never felt like this, defeated, hurt, angry, and it all being towards myself.  No one else. Me!

I have never been this sorry.

Maturity

The error of my ways will be destroyed as the future turns to present and present drifts into the eternal past.  What changes is not me, but time.  I drift into a different era of my life, but my ways are the same; as a teenager I can't help but notice the lie that is maturity.  They say as I get older I will become wiser, clarity will shine through a water drop of life.  But as I move from the October of my Teen years, I notice that I matured very little, the consequences of that are the mistakes I have made.

Maturity doesn't leave you with clarity of thought, but with a foggier glass then before, you learn to perceive things as half full or half empty, finished or incomplete, the story is always the same, and yet you find yourself asking more and more questions.  Why?  You get no answer.  No response.  Not even a thought will truly answer your questions.

I am sorry for the mistakes I make, my maturity being the truth of my naivety.  The Silence I will sit in, when I realise I am wrong.  To you I am sorry!